Feral

Written By: Jackie Massaro
Inspired by true events

Her hand trails down my back, her fingers like a belt along the side of my waist. She was excited to see me. She had told me so the whole week in text messages and on phone calls. I can't wait to see you. I miss you. Her hand grabs my waist tighter, bringing me in closer to her so that our hips bash against each other out of rhythm.

"What time do you have to be home tonight? Laura says, her nose poking my ear through my hair.

"Around four or five."

"Four or five," she murmurs. "You don't want to see me?" She puts a lift in her voice that makes it sound innocent.

"I do, but...You picked me up at ten o' clock… I have things to do before work tomorrow. You know how Sundays usually are for me."

"Hey," she presses her hands into my body and steers me, "come here." We step off of the trail, just slightly out of bounds. She hugs me. Her nose in the crook of my neck. Her breath deep and full. Her arms are solid, iron. She exhales like she is deeply rejuvenated.

"You smell so good."

I scoff. "You always say that."

"You always smell good."

"You never say what I smell like."

Laura's eyes steady on me for a moment before scanning the air beside my head. "You smell like Natalie."

I meet the little bloodshot branches in the whites of her eyes.

"I don't know what that means."

"It's hard to describe." She searches my face as though the correct descriptors will eventually show.

"I guess I should have my own candle, then."

"You know," she says, releasing me, "there is a movie about someone who makes perfume out of people's skin."

"Oh." I walk back onto the trail. I hear her kicking up leaves until she is beside me again. She wraps her arm around mine, and I want the wind to carry me away. I side-eye her, and she is looking up at the sun-shiny sky.

"Have you been to this park before?"

"No." I take a tissue out of my pocket, severing her arm from mine, and pretend to wipe my nose. I put a little distance between our shoulders.

"Do you know how to get out?"

This almost stops me in my tracks. I don't know.

"Well, I guess the way we came in. Right?"

Laura shrugs. Her shoulder brushes mine, and I have to stop myself from a twitching shiver. A robin too-weets from a branch. I smile at it. It distracts me for a moment, like it knows I need a little comfort. A jarring thrust plows into my shoulder. My smile drops immediately.

"Ow! What the hell?"

"You weren't paying attention," Laura says playfully.

"To what?! Why did you punch me?"

She jogs ahead, then turns back to face me.

"Race you!" And she opens a path through the leaves.

I don't chase after her. I watch the bottoms of her sneakers lift up from the fiery trail. I watch her hair sway and flick between strides. I stare, hoping she doesn't look back. Eventually, the curve in the trail obscures her from view. I'm kind of okay with that. But I know she will come looking for me if I don't catch up soon. I quicken my pace, but not too much. This date was my idea. Let's drive around and look at the foliage. In the car she had to concentrate, eyes ahead on the road, hands on the wheel. In the woods, she was free to roam, to be the menace I am learning she is.

She had no idea, and I haven't found the right words so she won't be devastated when I end it. It has to be today.

I am rounding the curve and she is gone. I stop, and the leaves quit thrashing below me. I look around for her dark outfit to stand out against the bright woods. It doesn't. I turn and all of the trees shake their heads and shrug in my direction. I start walking again. My stomach drops and turns over. What if she tries to get me? Comes out from nowhere and grabs me from behind? I glance over my shoulder, trying to catch familiar shadows in the afternoon sun before they catch me. I stop walking again, and I don't hear the birds. A strong push of wind sends the tree canopies into a horrible whisper-roar that surrounds me. So loud. So loud. I lift my face to them, and they are all moving out of time and rhythm like some phantom metronome. They are much bigger than me, these trees. The longer I look at them the more dangerous it feels to be below them. My breath catches in my chest, and I can't look at the tree monsters anymore. I am not alone in these woods. I come back to the leaves piled around my ankles on the trail, to the various sized trunks embedded in the ground, and I see a flash of a person hurrying behind a wide tree just ahead. It startles me, but I feel a tiny relief. If I catch her, maybe she'll be a sore loser and want to go home. Then I'll be off the hook and out of these woods.

I start walking. There's no way to be quiet with the leaves, so I will have to be confusing. I run—sprint, actually. I aim for the right side of the tree, then juke back to the left at the last second.

"AH!" I yell, breathless, to empty space behind the tree. I deflate. I JUST saw her running over here.

"I win!" Laura's head appears from around the tree, her eyes squinting in a victorious smile. I don't like the way it reminds me of a snake.

"Sure did." I start for the trail. My arm is caught, and her hand encloses around my wrist. She gently tugs the rest of me back to her.

"Doesn't the winner get a prize?"

She places me against the tree. I look at her, but she's looking at my neck. Her eyes follow the collar of my sweater like words in a book. Laura puts her hand on my neck. It's warm. The callouses, which I know are from work, are unpleasantly rough. I close my eyes and see them like flat yellow warts. I don't like it. Laura stands against me. I am very still. Her face brushes against mine before nestling into my neck. She takes a deep breath, so deep it's like she grew a few inches.

"Ahhhhh," Laura exhales.

Laura inhales again and again, and I can imagine big cartoonish swirls of air entering her nostrils. Her shoulders rise high. It feels like my soul is being sucked out of my body, like she is taking from me. Like I am losing pieces of myself each time she touches me.

"I don't understand how you are drawn to my perfume," I say, guiding her away from me. "It's kinda weird."

"Mmm," is all she replies.

Then, something wet at my neck. Lips. Tongue. They feel inexperienced.

"Laura, stop! What if someone sees?"

Laura lifts her head and looks around. Her eyes are darker, the pupils bigger, but it's darker outside now, too. When did that happen? "I don't see anyone," she says and continues. She smiles as she does it. I feel like I'm being fed on. Like I am playing dead so the bear can sniff sniff and go away.

But this bear won't go away.

"Laura," I say, gently pushing her off. She's heavy. Her shoulders are sculpted like marble beneath her quarter-zip. My heart beats faster.

"Laura, I don't think we should—"

She breathes me in deeper and faster. It sounds like she's hyperventilating.

"Laura!" I shove her away, which feels like a power move, except she only staggers back a tiny bit.

Her head is bowed. I take a breath and try to calm down. Laura is embarrassed, that's understandable. But she went too far. I had to say something. I am allowed to say something.

"Look, I don't think this is going to work."

Her left hand twitches. Is she thinking about hitting me again? No. No, that's not it. Something falls from her face and plops onto the leaves below. She's crying.

"I'm sorry, Laura, but things just got a little intense for me."

Her head shakes no in small, quick movements. More falls from her face and plop-plop-plops to the ground. Heavy. Heavier than tears. I look at her feet and see white. Bubbles. Foam. I snap my eyes up to her and gasp. Frothy drool pools up and pours out from her mouth. Her bloodshot eyes are now a deep, glistening red with her dark brown iris turning yellow. I am frozen. Laura looks at me like I am something she wants to rip open with her teeth. How do I get out of this? I lift my foot a half-step. Laura growls from deep in her throat. She matches my step. Her hands are open by her side, her body slightly stooped towards me. I am hot all over my body, the sweat beading between my shoulder blades worse than any heatwave. Laura screams, her eyes wide and wild, practically swirling between her eyelids above her drooling mouth. She lunges for my neck with an outstretched hand.

I roll myself around the other side of the tree and run. The leaves sound like chants below my feet pounding on the trail. Laura is close behind me. My heart is beating faster than I am running, and I wonder which death will catch me first. I don't look behind me, but I can see in my mind Laura running hard and steady. She's a martial artist, for Christ's sake; she is going to destroy me. But only if I get caught. I push myself forward and run harder, I try to mimic the Laura I see in my mind. If I can outrun her, if I can just get into the car, I will be okay. My Bumble match won't kill me. I can see the parking lot. Go, go! My chest is tight and I can't take a deep enough breath. The car key is in my pocket. I'm starting to see people. Families, dogs, a woman jogging with a stroller —

My leg is yanked back. The leaves come at my face fast. I put my hands out to brace for the fall. My wrist feels like an explosion. I don't want to look at it. Her iron grip on my ankle sears into my skin. I wriggle on the ground, anything to get away. I turn over on my back. Big mistake. She tugs me by the legs to pull me closer to her. She climbs on top of me, the weight of her 5'4" frame somehow crushing. Laura towers over me. She is so close to me that the foam pours out of her mouth like a shaken soda that gets caught in her hair. It soaks my sweater, dribbles down my chest. I kick and writhe, I yell, but it only makes her more agitated. Laura clamps both of my wrists—I scream from the pain—and holds them above my head.

Her face smashes into my neck. A pinch.

My neck feels wet and warm. It feels like so much water coming out.

Jackie Massaro is a Master of Writing Arts student at Rowan University. Her work has been featured in Persephone Literary Magazine and Heroica. Jackie is also a graduate instructor, and when she is not snuggling with her cat, Cleo, she is kitchen dancing to Depeche Mode.